The airport

My son, David was down for Memorial Day weekend. I brought him to Dulles airport so he could fly home to Newark airport. I was fine until it was time for him to get on the plane. Maybe it is a parent's love that makes me miss him so much. Maybe it is the thought that I cannot be there for him every night. I often wonder if I should really be up in New Jersey living very close to him. I could see him all the time and the weekends wouldn't be a travel ordeal. I cried tonight. After I handed him off to the gate agent, I just felt so sad. A little boy should not have to do that, nor should his parent have to put him on a plane until the next time. What a cruel teacher experience is. The things we realize after we have lost them! The things we realize after we already did the damage. I feel this way every time I leave David. Then, the feeling goes away after a day or so. Maybe it is conditioned numbness. Maybe it is defensive numbness. David will be down for Father's Day weekend, then he is here for the rest of the summer. I am so looking forward to this! The only part I am not looking forward to is the goodbye. But, as usual, the numbness will kick in after a few days and I can go back to my forced exile. A father should never have to be away from his son. I so miss my boy.