The day the music died

On February 10th, 2006, my Mother passed away. She had been in and out
of the hospital and gave passed away shortly after an operation for a
kidney problem. The emotions on this are impossible to explain. I lost
my Dad 21 years ago, but then; someone else handled all the details.
This time, I handled the details. Planning a funeral is not something
that should be done by the people most effected by the death. This
should be done ahead of time.

Once I came home, I wrote a letter. I wrote what I want to happen to
me when I die. Where I want to be buried, the clothes I want to wear
(Hawaiian shirt - I made David promise me he would do this), where the
life insurance policies are. All the things someone will need to know
when they are going through your stuff. I encourage everyone reading
this to make a will and ensure your loved ones have it all laid out
for them. They should not have to think during this time. It would be
best to give a letter to the funeral director and say, "it is all in
there - call if you have any questions!". That is my intent. While
none of us want to think about our own death, I assure you all it will
happen. While it is important to plan the end for those left behind,
please do not forget that life is in the living.

Those that love you will certainly miss you, but they need good
memories to get them through. They need to know how you felt about
them. They should never doubt that you love and care for them.
Fortunately, I had the peace to know how much my Mother cared for me
and loved me. I understood that while we may have had our moments (I
was a teenager after all), we also understood each other enough to
realize were in many ways the same. I loved my Mother dearly and will
miss her for the rest of my life. But, I am able to continue on
because I can see her in the eyes of my son. I can see her in the
curiosity and intellect that is David. She always let me know how much
she loved me; it was never understated. I will always miss her and am
greatly comforted by the fact that she is now in peace. Mom, I miss
you, I love you and I am eternally grateful for the lessons you taught
me. I only hope that I can measure up and be the man you wanted me to
become.